An Idiot's Story
by Tanya Tsuki
Summary: On a cold winter day, America and Canada are walking home together from a meeting. All goes well until Canada dares America to test a well known scene from a well known movie...


_(Disclaimer: APH is not mine. And please, do not stick your tongue to a metal pole when it's freezing out. It _will_ most likely get stuck and I don't want you to come crying to me because you read it in a fic and just had to try it.)_

It was a cold afternoon, and the North American brothers were walking home together from a meeting, laughing over the antics of some of their fellow Nations.

"Do you remember when Italy yelled at Germany for pronouncing the name of that pasta wrong?" America asked Canada, chuckling as he remembered Italy bursting into tears and the uptight Germany trying desperately to quiet the brunet.

"What about when France started hitting on Japan and in return was hit on by Russia?" Canada asked, leaning against his brother for support as his laughter grew in size.

"Oh man, that was awesome! The look on France's face…that was priceless!" Canada's added weight threw America's balance off, not that he was paying much attention to where he was going anyway, and the next thing either brother knew, they had walked into a metal pole. The brothers found this to be the funniest thing that had happened yet, and sat on the ground, roaring in laughter.

Canada was the first to calm down, and he nudged America to get his attention. "Do you remember that movie, A Christmas Story?"

"Of course! How could I not. I mean, we produced it together and all," America gasped out, breathless from his laughter.

"Well, remember how those two were disputing about whether or not a person's tongue will stick to a frozen flagpole?" America nodded. "And they did it and it did stick. But, while filming, they used a suction tube instead of actual metal, right?" Again, his brother nodded. "So they didn't really settle the dispute. Does one's tongue actually stick to cold metal?"

America got a rare, thoughtful look on his face. "I don't know. In fact, I—"

"I triple dog dare you to try it!" Canada shouted in a moment of bravery.

America looked aghast. "Triple dog dare? You know I can't break that!" His normally quiet brother looked smug. "Fine! I'm a hero. I can do it," He said confidently, but hesitating as he stood and moved closer to the pole.

"Well then, go on," Canada urged, smiling to himself at his brother's hesitation.

"Right, then, here I go." And there he went, indeed. America stuck his tongue out and leant forward, placing it on the cold metal. Predictably, it was frozen there, and the adventurous Nation's eyes widened when he realized he couldn't pull away. "'M thuck."

Canada, on the other hand, was cracking up. He couldn't believe his brother actually did it and that his tongue was actually stuck to the pole. Wait a minute. His tongue was stuck to a metal pole. Laughter cutting off, Canada stood up and moved over to America, muttering apologizes. "I can't believe it worked. I'm so sorry, America," He said quietly. "Don't move," He commanded, noticing America starting to panic. "It'll probably hurt more that way."

America glared at him as Canada quickly thought of what should be done. "Get closer to the pole, but don't let more of your tongue hit it." When that was done, Canada nodded. "Good, now, right, put your hands on the pole close to your tongue. It should warm the area so you can gently pull it away when it thaws."

"Y' thur'?" America mumbled, doing as his brother said.

"No, but would you rather be stuck out here all night?" America started to shake his head, letting out a noise in surprise when he was painfully reminded of his predicament.

The brothers stood there for a few minutes, Canada smiling reassuringly to all those who passed by as they waited for the pole to thaw…until he heard an inquiring British voice inquire, "What is going on here, boys?" Canada's smile faded and he quickly moved in an attempt to hide America from England's view. The look on the smaller Nation's face, however, told him that it was no use.

"Is America's tongue stuck to a pole, _mon petit_?" France asked, coming up behind England, smirking.

Canada felt himself redden as he nodded.

"Would you care to tell me what the bloody hell he was thinking?"

The younger Nation whose tongue was not stuck to a pole bit his lip, looking anywhere and everywhere but at his fathers. "Um, I kind of, sort of dared him to…"

England and France looked at Canada in shock. "And he did it?" France questioned, looking from Canada to America and back again. Canada nodded and France dissolved into laughter. "_Formidable! Bonne idée mon petit canadien!_" The older Nation clapped the stunned Canadian on the back.

"Good idea?!" England shouted, fists clenching in anger. "He knows how stupid his brother is! He should know better than to encourage such idiotic behavior! I mean, really. America never knows when to think! He never turns down a challenge! Canada, I thought you were the sensible one! I mean, really, why would you—"

"England, stop," America said around a swollen tongue. Sometime during the exchange the metal had thawed enough, allowing America to pull away. "He triple dog dared me. I had to. He would have done it, too, had I dared him, right, Canada?" His brother nodded, still biting his lip. "See? Now, who's up for a trip to McDonald's? I could use some coffee right now!" And, without waiting for a word of protest, he grabbed Canada's arm and headed off for the nearest restaurant. England and France reluctantly followed, if for no reason other than to avoid any other stupid stunts from the North American brothers.


End file.
